Seeing Dreams

So it has been almost two months since I left India...but a tattered letter I had written in August to myself made it to my Davidson mailbox from Jaipur today. Even though the envelope was completely slit open on all sides, by some miracle my letter still hung in there. My voice on that first morning of my homestay was so full of hope- for direction, possibilities, self-awareness, and dreams. Looking back from where I stand now, I see, with such awe and clarity, how so many of my experiences in India laid the bricks for the road I now walk upon. My Hindi name, Sapna (pron. sup-nah), which means "dream", feels like a sign of destiny, as I am dreaming a lot these days and trying to actively pursue them.

When people ask, "How was India?" or "What was India like?" I find it impossible to sum it up in one sentence. Instead I think about the staggering diversity of descriptions that burst through the constraints of our imaginations and knowledge of the world as it is. One author described India as a schizophrenic country...one of paradoxes, contradictions, or conflicting forces. To me, India can simultaneously be wildly chaotic--rickshaws strangling the dusty roads...bazaars buzzing with a million pockets of livelihoods, tragedies, secrets and dreams--yet it can also serenely peaceful to the extent that sacredness and holiness abound--gasping at the blushing sun as she peeps onto the stage of desert hues...the cloudy feel of bare feet on cool marble at temples or mosques or on hot sandstone at palaces and forts...the flutes and drums drifting through the verdant tapestry of rubber trees and coconut palms. Or it can be so mind-gratingly frustrating--the ways women are daily confined by stifled expectations and obligations...the pervasive corruption that thwarts honest intentions and obliterates trust in the government...the inability to take care of children on the street with beseeching eyes and clinging, empty hands--but yet so powerfully inspiring--openly weeping with hope as young girls make eardrums throb with songs about fighting for their education...seeing villages transformed and blossoming due to a reliable water source...feeding smiles with simple cake and love at a humble birthday celebration...

I suppose in a place where things are constantly changing and at odds with each other, I began to realize that being consistently and genuinely myself was the best way to open my heart, give back to people around me, and grow in love and purpose. It's exhausting and unfair to ourselves and others when we are dishonest with who we are and spend precious life painstakingly constructing a facade that we think will help us get somewhere or obtain something. The truth MUST go hand in hand with love and hope. I think that as more of us strive to be true to who we are, we will be better able to see with our hearts and strive to love genuinely and hope beyond ordinary limits. Love is ultimately the most real thing we can truly hope for.

Forests, Roadtrips, Elephants, Songs...and Leeches

Well, my last days in Jaipur were bittersweet. We all successfully finished our research papers and presentations, then zipped about getting all dressed up for our final banquet. I decided that one bright blue sari was my destiny. Everyone looked gorgeous for the event, and afterwards we danced with the wedding party that had been celebrating every night in the courtyard of our guesthouse. It was just a riot of color, music (they hoped to lure us to the dance floor by playing Shakira) and smiles. For the next day, I helped my friend make a slideshow of the semester and by the end all of us had just broken down crying! We have gotten so incredibly close and I will miss them all like sisters. We ran some final errands in the city, puttering along in rickshaws, bargaining for gifts, purchasing odds and ends, etc. Even as I walked at dusk through the chaotic jumble of life in the "Old City," Jaipur's famous sprawling market area, I breathed deeply (probably coughing a little as a result...) and gave thanks to Jaipur for all its challenges, its surprises, its lesson, its noises and smells, and its people. After most everyone had departed, I spent my last evening with Mami Ji and Papa Ji and celebrated MJ's birthday. Seeing the joy on their faces at enjoying a simple and loving celebration made me grin. I will always remember their home as a peaceful place. I wrote them a long letter in Hindi expressing what they have meant to me. They were proud that I got the "Best Hindi" Award at school.
From Jaipur I flew through Mumbai and Mangalore, arriving in Cochi, Kerala to meet my mom! We took the train with her students, followed up by a drive into the beautiful forest, where one student's grandfather lives. He lives on 50 acres of land filled with coconut palms, rubber trees, cocoa plant (heaven), and an assortment of other fruits, spices and vegetables. Basically it was paradise...leeches and all! Ajay's (mom's student's) grandfather led us through the real forest with a machete. We were hoping to see wild elephants, but unfortunately all we acme into contact with was leeches! Ew. We also took a road trip through national parks, even into the neighboring states of Karnataka and Tamil Nadu, and we did see some wild elephants! They were pretty engrossed with twisting their trunks around grasses and munching with their mouths open. It was funny because Mom's students went crazy any time we spotted some deer, while we were ecstatic about the elephants. If elephants bothered our garden, maybe I would feel differently about them. All of us got a kick out of swinging from the hanging roots of banyan trees by the side of the road in Tamil Nadu.
We spent the 7-hour train ride back to Mom's Catholic college smacking roaches. Mom has been helping three students with Masters degrees with their English, as they arrive in the states in January to work on their teaching certifications through a partnership program in Maryland. Mom has gotten to be great friends with "the kids," as she calls them, and we spent a lot of time hanging out and laughing. They were all amazed, and perhaps aghast, by my infamous monkey call (which, by the way, has gotten me 3rd place in the Albemarle County fair, thank you very much! :)) Most days are bizarre here, but one night Mom and I sang Christmas songs at a dinner, then we were whisked outside to see a caroling truck. These trucks basically have huge speakers, mics, and lights strapped to them and they travel through neighborhoods blasting music. Our friends gave us their mics when they were done and insisted we sing again in front of everyone. I thought of it as a giant karaoke machine and had fun. Then Santa Claus rode up on a motorcycle. Anywho, now we have been at this "Nature Care and Yoga Centre" for a couple of days, leaving at the end of the week...It has been quite an adventure already, but I will save it for next week. I can't believe that on MONDAY, DECEMBER 28TH, which is only FIVE DAYS from this moment...that I will be in the United States of America. At home. In Charlottesville, Virginia. I am grinning already.

Dharamsala!

Hello all,
I have been back in Jaipur since Saturday but we have all been busy writing our research papers and preparing for our presentations. From the mountains I spent more than 30 hours traveling by jeep, train, bus and taxi to reach Dharamsala. I met up with my friend Brian, who is doing an SIT: Tibetan Studies program. We both had a lot of our research stipend left, so we ate some great food and talked about home at every long, multi-course meal. I tried to order fruit and some form of chocolate at every meal. It was nice to have a relaxing place to work on this paper, as both of us had to do that. I saw the Dalai Lama's residence, but otherwise I didn't have much energy for sightseeing. From Dharamsala I took the bus to Amritsar, where I saw the beautiful Golden Temple. The Temple sits in the middle of a square body of water with wide marble lining all sides. The walkway to the Temple was really crowded, but we waited for our turn to walk through the Temple itself, where God's name is sung or chanted 24 hours a day. The music is broadcast over speakers and it peacefully rings out across the waters. Outside of the Temple, my transition back to the city was pretty rough. All the noise, pollution, people heckling me, and craziness was too much to handle after such serenity in the mountains. I am tired of being seen mostly as a dollar sign in the city. I crashed on the train and thankfully made it back to Jaipur in one piece. I reunited with Mami Ji and Papa Ji in their peaceful home, then travelled back to the guesthouse to meet up with the rest of the students. It has been INCREDIBLY WONDERFUL to be back together again. We have laughed so much even though it has been a hard week, and these last few days will be a lot of fun.

Anyways, I can't believe I will be leaving Jaipur on Sunday...but I can't wait to see my mom! I will be home so soon. Love and miss you all.

Digoli

Last Monday I hopped in a jeep and we drove for an hour or so, partly on a road that was so bad that it felt like we were a boat rocking in an ocean storm. Then we hiked through the mountains for over two hours, passing through the quiet forest, several active villages, and many an animal. AVANI, the NGO I am staying with, has a cabin-like field center in the village of Digoli. Everyone in the village was so incredibly welcoming. I averaged between five and eight cups of chai (tea) a day, as everyone would offer it when we were doing interviews. I also gave my jaws a good workout by chewing on a lot of sugarcane. I had a translator with me, which was very helpful, and this guy was really interesting. He has acted in two Kumaoni films, does stunts such as leaping from tree to tree, knows martial arts, sketches, dreams about opening shelters and hospitals for animals, women, and children, and wants to live in a treehouse. It was fun to hang out with him when we weren’t interviewing. This place was so beautiful and when sitting on top of a roof, drinking chai with misri (like a sugar cube), sugarcane nearby, waving to kids and watching them giggle, I loved the fact that I am getting college credit for this.
Another thing that made Digoli unforgettable was experiencing my first Indian wedding! There is actually a French woman, Catherine, who has been filming a documentary about this one family in the village, and she was staying at the field center. So I went with her and got to spend time with the bride, Hema, and her family as they spent the week preparing for the wedding. The night before the wedding, about 50 people crowded into one room as Hema got henna designs done on her hands and feet. Henna is an herbal dye that is used for decoration. The next day my two French friends my age, along with an American couple from Tennessee, who are all interning or volunteering with AVANI, arrived in the village. The wedding night itself was full of color, food, dancing, gifts, ceremonies, and people. The Hema’s family fed everyone and just watching these preparations was amazing. The house was painted, a multicolor tent covered the yard, lights were strung up, and kids were everywhere. The groom, from a village about an hours walk away in the valley, arrived on Friday night and the ceremonies began. Hindu priests chanted and did blessings, and family members also blessed them with their hands, water, and flowers. The cattle usually stay in the open rooms under the house, and these rooms were cleaned out for a ceremony in which the bride and groom give each other many gifts. They sat at opposite sides of the room and would meet in the middle to give and receive. This lasted about three hours, and the priests did a lot more chanting of prayers. The Hema’s parents sat on either side of her and would help her with certain things. Once her mother poured milk from a little pot into her daughter’s hands from above and her husband kept refilling it with water. The Hema’s sister helped her put in the large nose ring that signifies a married woman. There was another ceremony outside, but by this time it was almost 2:00 a.m. so we headed back to sleep. The next morning we ate breakfast with everyone at the bride’s house, then it was time for the bride to leave with the groom. It is very sad for the bride and she cried a lot as she said goodbye to parents. She is carried in a colorful chair and the groom leaves on a white horse as drummers and dancers with swords lead the procession down the mountain and out of the village. We actually left with the party and walked through other villages where everyone had heard the drums coming and came out to see the procession.

These three weeks have been wonderful, but I’m sad to leave friends here. I am looking forward to my journey to the next state over, Himachal Pradesh, where I will be staying in Dharamsala! The Tibetan government is in exile here. I will be writing my paper, eating lots of baked goods, and hanging out with a friend from Davidson who will be there. Then I will go to Amritsar, where the major attraction is the incredible Sikh Golden Temple (thanks, Greg!). From there I will take the train back to Jaipur, where I can’t wait to see Papa Ji and Mami Ji, and bask in the sharing of stories with my 15 classmates.
Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Hiking through the hills

Dear family and friends,

I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving! Eat an extra slice of pie for me. For those of you interested in having a Second Thanksgiving when I get back, let me know.

This week has been adventurous, I would say. I had the opportunity to do three field visits to different villages for interviews. Unfortunately Hindi-English translators are hard to come by up here, so I have been struggling with whatever Hindi I can muster. I have become good friends with the other interns here, and luckily one of them is willing to sometimes help me out with translations. I pay her in chocolate and samosas. Apparently samosas are like contraband here on AVANI’s campus…we walk 4 km to Berinag, the nearest town, to get them and eat them inside our rooms. Anyways, it is incredible to hike through the hills and reach these little villages or hamlets tucked away inside niches wayyyy up in the mountains. One time we could look down and watch the river below twinkle like silver in the sun. Another time I struggled to keep up with a young girl as she nimbly glided down a very steep and rocky path on the way to a field center. All the terraces here are spectacular- like layered cake. Most of my interviews have been helpful, and it sure is an exercise to put myself out there and try not to ask stupid questions when I have come so far to seek out these people. They have all been welcoming: sharing chai or oranges with me, going off about Hinglish, showing me their fields, or laughing after I show them the pictures I have taken of them.

I have been eager to get out into the villages to interview these solar committees, as I am studying their capacity for energy decisions, environmental education, and local governance. Today I leave for the Digoli field center, a 2 hour drive followed by a 2 hour hike through the hills, with surrounding villages that have abundant samitis. For this I am excited. I will explain more about the research after I have completed it, I think. I have been filling up my notebook with scraps of information, interviews, contacts, and notes from research, and today I typed up about 15 pages of my paper! (It is supposed to be 30 pages) I am thrilled that somehow I am halfway done with a draft. I am also thrilled that in Digoli I will be attending an Indian wedding!!! Hooray.

After this my plans are to take the train and then bus to Dharamsala, a Tibetan refugee hub and spiritual place galore, located in Himachal Pradesh, the next state over. I hear they have fantastic baked goods there, too. The Dalai Lama will have just left before I arrive, and although I wish I could have seen him, I figure it’s better that there will be less people to eat my baked goods. A Davidson friend, who is actually on an SIT Nepal program, is doing his ISP in Dharamsala with other SIT students, so I am looking forward to spending some time with them. From Dharamsala I will travel to Amritsar, where apparently (this is how information comes to me-by word of mouth) there are some neat temples…or something…from there I take the train back to Jaipur, where I look forward to reuniting with Mami Ji and Papa Ji and then basking in the sharing of stories with 15 other girls.

Until next time!

Superbly Enbineered

Last week I took the bus to Delhi with some friends and we spent about two days exploring the city before we parted ways. I loved walking through winding, bustling bazaars with millions of activities that overwhelmed all my senses. Sparks flew from shadowed workshops, endless streams of rickshaws and foot traffic swamped the road, men strained to pull carts with towers of boxes, vegetables and fruits fatly sat on stands, families stared behind dusty sweet counters...there was so much. We squished into the new Delhi Metro a couple of times with what seemed like over maximum capacity...it was like an awkward and uncomfortable group hug. One night we went out and just danced. It was a great weekend- but far different from life in the mountains...

Currently I am in the state of Uttaranchal, which borders Nepal and Tibet in northwest India. When I stepped off the train from Delhi and my breath was steaming in the freezing air, I realized that I should have brought warmer clothes. I met another intern at the station and we held onto our stomachs as we lurched and curved through the mountains on tiny roads for about 7 hours. She vomited, quite serenely in my opinion, from the window. Twice. Miraculously my stomach refused to get to that point. Maybe it was because when we rounded another bend and I saw the snow-capped peaks of the Himalayas, I was too happy to be sick.

The NGO I am staying with is called AVANI, which I, being used to Southern drawls and what-not, assumed was pronounced "AH-VAAH-KNEE" but actually it is "uh-vuh-knee," such as, "Mm. That bread is nice and oveny." They train village youth to install solar home lighting systems, as well as employ women as weavers. Basically I am trying to focus on renewable energy as a means of generating sustainable livelihoods. Issues I am looking at include: rural-urban migration, how solar power affects the village economy (income-generating activities?), social development impacts (health, education, community centers), the capacity of the Village Solar Energy Committee for development and governance, the empowerment of the Solar Technicians, aaand India's ambitious National Solar Mission. I have been interviewing people at the organization, but tomorrow I will begin interviewing in villages, as well. The campus sits right on the side of a mountain (hooray for terrace agriculture!), a 10 minute walk from a town with 2 shops, and 4 km away from a town with more shops. It is in the mountains, for real.

I live in a dormitory with the weavers, solar technicians, and 2 other interns on AVANI's campus. The best part is that they are all about my age! It has been so so wonderful to interact with Indian youth. In Jaipur I didn't have opportunities like this. At night they all like to knit, sing, and sometimes dance. I have become good friends with the other interns, who are here more for textile/fashion design. There are also 2 girls from France! We make quite an eclectic group. I actually caught a cold here and discovered a new renewable source: my nose. The nearest real town is 4 km away, so I bought a jacket there that boasts on the back: "Harley Devidson: Superbly Enbineered Motorcycles." I find the irony of this claim quite funny, and I will now be including, "Superbly Enbineered" in my vocabulary. Also, the most used word in my Hindi vocabulary would be "Tunda," which means cold. (They speak Hindi and Kumaoni, a local language.) On the really cold days the clouds swoop through the mountains like the tides of the ocean, completely filling the valleys. It's gorgeous. I have loved walking through the hills, the forests, and on the road in the clouds. I also have been helping the cook in the kitchen: peeling potatoes, onions, and garlic, or rolling chapatis. Everyone is very sweet here and I feel like part of this community.

Hopefully next week I can talk more about what I am finding in my research...

To the Himalayas!

This was my last week in Jaipur- and my mom was here!! It was so great to have her here to see my life in India. We had fun talking with Papa Ji and Mami Ji and seeing the city. We went shopping for some Indian clothing and puttered around in many many rickshaws. Bargaining with them in Hindi is always an adventure. We did a small sight-seeing tour and the best part was the Amber Fort, which employs about 30 elephants to carry people up the winding path. We opted to walk, but it was neat to have my elephant count significantly increase. This week we had about 8 huge assignments and exams, but it was nice to step back from that and spend time with my mom.

Now we are all heading out for our month-long Independent Study Projects (ISPs). Today I take a bus to Delhi, then tomorrow night I take the train by myself up to Uttaranchal, where I will meet someone from AVANI, the NGO I will be staying with. Basically I am hoping to study how AVANI trains youth to build, install, and repair solar home lighting systems. Each village has a Solar Energy Committee that is slowly picking up other development issues, and I am interested in their capacity for community-based natural resource management. Things will probably change once I get there, though, and apparently I will have to primarily speak Hindi. Yay! The last week I hope to travel with friends to Darjeeling, a beautiful place in eastern India. More on that later...

So I will leave you with a story: once we were eating dinner at a restaurant, and the owner said she owned a 70-year old elephant named "Wind in the Butt." We all tried to stifle our laughter as we were walking back to Wind in the Butt's house. We fed her some roti (bread) and took pictures, before clarifying that Wind in the Butt's name was actually Wind in the BUD. As in a flower. That made more sense.